The Ethics of Selling
01.11.11 / Uncategorized / Author: TWGranE / Comments: (0)
Tags: American trends, athletics, blankie, Casual Fridays, couch potato, drugs, entrepreneur, Fashion, footies, germs, guns, Jumpin Jammerz, Mick Jagger, Pajama Jeans, Party, red carpet, Rock Star, selling, Snuggies, sports, The Rolling Stones, Woodstock, Work
It's A Gas!
Let’s take some responsibility and think about what we are selling and what it does to America.
I’m not talking about illegal drugs and firearms. We already are a society that has learned to adapt and we attempt to regulate these products.
I am flabbergasted that we have begun to accept things like Snuggies, Pajama Jeans and now, oh yes, Jumpin Jammerz: The (Ridiculous) Pajamas Built for Partying. These companies are bombarded by orders. Expect to be on back order if you are trying to get some Pajama Jeans!
Snuggies: Put your hands in the air, like you just don’t care. Now, Linus, you can take your filthy germ filled blankie with you just about anywhere. And look how happy it makes you. Get one that fits your personality — pink, polka dot, camo. Great for when you want to pry yourself off the couch and attend an athletic event (only as a spectator) and wave your hands up and down. No wardrobe change required. Now if you want to participate in a sport, you’re going to have to upgrade to Pajama Jeans or Jammerz.
Pajama Jeans: We have casual Friday’s at my place of employment. We are allowed to wear jeans on this day. They are easy to wear, they match everything, they come in a variety of sizes to fit your lifestyle. What kind of lifestyle do you have that even this casual attire does not work? A lifestyle that you need a pair of Pajama Jeans? If you can’t be bothered to zip and button, what’s next? Well Jumpin Jammerz, of course!
Jumpin Jamerz: This is it! This is the last social standard straw. Footie pajama’s for adults made for partying. They have game time Jammies, perfect for getting together with the guys in your footies! They have Rock Star Jammies, I’m not sure what these would be good for. With the exception of Woodstock, most concert goers wear day-wear. I cannot imagine Mick Jagger taking the stage in footies, pajama jeans or a snuggie. Perhaps, if they were made of leather.
America, please, I’m begging you. Save your money. On top of the over-inflated prices and shipping, the sacrifice you are making for common decency and fashion is appalling. And last, but not least, my comrades with the entrepreneurial spirit, is it worth a buck to see America dressed like a red carpet walk at a nursing home?
But it’s all right now, in fact, it’s a gas!
But it’s all right, Jumpin Jack Jammerz
It’s a gas! gas! gas!
