I went to the store with a tight-fisted budget and simple requirements. What a shock! With the cost of regular coffee peaking at $10 on sale, why would anyone want or need to spend hundreds of dollars on a machine that takes special filters — I like buying 200 for $1 at the dollar store. Heck sometimes I even use them around the house as cheap chip plates! — or machines that take special single-serve coffee flavors. These are around $1 a piece and although the coffee may be tasty, I’ll stick to the 12 cups I get with the 3 scoops of ground coffee beans.
So, I’m pleased as punch with my new 12-cup, auto-timer, name-brand, $15 coffee pot. It looks like a space gadget with so much chrome.
Then, it happens. I get distracted, and my mind moves on to more improvements. Our old sugar container looks pretty shabby next to our new jet-powered coffeepot. Then, of course, it would make the mornings all the better drinking out of shiny new mug. And I wonder if we’ll get enough income tax refund back to replace the counter tops? Now, what did I do with those magazine clippings of that breakfast nook?
For now I am content with the new coffee pot, but you know what happens “If You Give A Mouse a Cookie.”

For those who haven’t picked up a children’s book since 1984, “If You Give A Mouse a Cookie” was written in 1985 by Laura Numeroff. Its plot is about a boy who gives a mouse a cookie, then the mouse needs some milk, then a napkin and on and on through a series of events until they [ ** is this "they are" or "it is" back? The mouse is singular in the title ** ] for another cookie.
A fun exercise for your budding writer (or blogger) is to write your own circle story in the Mouse format. Download this fun enrichment guide that features a fill-in-the-blank teaching lesson designed for the classroom (along with other activities) based on this best selling childrens book.
www.firststage.org/media/pdf/Mouse_EG_FINAL.pdf

Buy clearance. Buy Christmas themed paper goods. You may be lucky enough to be able to purchase red or gold theme color pattern that will not make your New Year party look like Christmas (although I personally don’t care if I am still eating off of Santa’s cheerful face!

How did Grandma do it? Invest in dessert trays and a punch bowl set. Both are common enough at second hand stores and garage sales. I have my grandmother’s sets of dessert plates, and I love the special cup holder that my punch bowl cup fits right into. The dessert trays are great lap trays and make even lil smokies taste like exquisite hors d’oeurves.

Festive Decor: Out with the old: Get out the old items from other holidays. Poppers, sparklers, silvery star decorations from Fourth of July help bring in the new year with a bang and a sparkle. I love to motivate the kids to get the big pots and pans out and bang on them (outside) with the big wooden spoons.

Add a little ninny hollering and you have yourself a great time. This works until your children are too embarrassed to join you! Mardi Gras beads are great decor, hang them from the chandelier and backs of chairs.

How did Grandma do it? She cleaned. No fancy schmancy center pieces, no cluttering mess. She simply cleaned her house for company.

Confetti is everywhere, whether it is shredded paper, popcorn packaging or an evening craft project for the children, I can’t see spending money on something that you are going to throw and sweep. Unless you’re a rock star, then I’m all for having your photo imprinted on shiney paper and blasted to your adoring fans.

How did Grandma do it? She charted the sky and checked with the almanac to see how the crops would fair for the coming year. After all there is nothing as splendid as a star-filled sky to greet the New Year.

John Boy [Narrator]: Christmas is the season where we give tokens of love. In that house we received not tokens but love itself. I became the writer I promised my father I would be and my destiny led me far from Walton’s Mountain. My mother lives there still. Alone now, for we lost my father in 1969. My brothers and sisters, grown with children of their own, live not far away. We are still a close family and see each other when we can. And like Miss Maime Baldwin’s fourth cousins, we’re apt to sample the recipe and then gather around the piano and hug each other while we sing the old songs. For no matter the time or distance, we are united in the memory of that Christmas eve. More than 30 years and 3,000 miles away, I can still hear those sweet voices.

Olivia: What are we going to live on this coming week?
John: Love, Woman.

Elizabeth: Mary Ellen called us piss ants.
Olivia: Well you know better than that don’t you, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: I don’t feel like a piss ant.
Olivia: There, you see?

Olivia: If John doesn’t get home soon with money, all we’ll have for Christmas dinner is my applesauce cake. We won’t even have that if I don’t get a move on.

Charlie Sneed: Ike, you got any Christmas cheer in this place?
Ike Godsey: I got a little of Miss Emily and Miss Maime’s recipe for snake bite.
Charlie Sneed: [Pretend a snake bit him] Hot doggies! I believe he got me just now. Looky there.

Olivia: What’s that you got in your hand?
John-Boy: It’s a present, Mama, from Miss Mamie and Miss Emily.
Olivia: Bootleg whiskey. Don’t those crazy old women know I don’t allow whiskey in this house? I’ve got young children in this house! What sort of example do they think we set here? You take it out yonder and pour it on the ground!
John-Boy: It’s not whiskey, Mama, it’s egg nog.
Olivia: [after pause] I ought to be ashamed of myself.

Whatever your special recipe is,  may your Christmas be with loved ones, even the piss ants.

About photo: If your lucky enough to own The Walton’s Farmhouse, it is now worth $225-$300. The original Walton’s set was destroyed a studio fire in 1991. Estimated cost of $200,000.

Just remember: Don’t take art (extra fees and the supply list will give you the extra aggression you need to paint like de Kooning. Don’t take wood shop (the price of that hand-made chopping board makes you feel like you’re headed for the chopping block). And Sports ? I about fell out of my chair when I heard that uniforms had to be bought new. And this is not to mention the price of admission, transportation costs and the price of an order of bright yellow nachos.

Attention and enjoyment for your child also come into play.

The old saying “Once you start something, finish it” still has its place. But times have changed.

Children have so many opportunities to occupy their time that if your child hates an activity, and every agonizing practice costs your family more time and money, why not find something that your child can commit to in the long haul — and live up to the spirit of finishing what you start?

A new smart marketing stategy for activities is to try them before you commit to years of anguish. Two that recently came into my hands are:

No. 1: Two free lessons on any instrument (available with an ad in the Wednesday, Nov. 23, edition of The Ottawa Herald). I’m totally taking advantage of this one. My daughter has a guitar she loves and gets it out to strum like a rock star. But to see if she truly is interested and disciplined enough to practice, I will totally take advantage of two lessons to see if she is ready.

No. 2: A youth basketball clinic. I have to admit my child is handicapped coming from a family of non-sports parents (I am embarrassed that we don’t even own a basketball). This offer is two free Saturday clinics taught by high school students. All before the deadline (and money is due) for a season of T-shirts, practice and games.

She really, really wants to do it, but I am not sure she is ready for the intense learning of dribbling, shooting and don’t forget the suicide laps. Two afternoon sessions will at least give her the feel for the sport beyond grade school gym and give us the opportunity to have that talk about stick-to-it-ive-ness.

I like this new marketing trend of try-before-you-exert-yourself-too-much. I would rather not pay for the lessons and practices if my child doesn’t like it or doesn’t learn from it.

It’s Bank Transfer Day.

This gives you enough time to check with your bank, if you don’t already know, exactly what fees they are placing on your money.

According to Consumers Union, an advocacy division of Consumer Reports, it costs banks 8 cents per debit transaction. So why have banks started charging an average of $5 per month to use your card (not to mention ATM fees, not to even think about not-your-bank ATM extra fees)?

This is the point that I can’t seem to get past, I keep thinking this is MY money and the operation of a bank is dependent on mine and YOUR money.

Operating on a cash basis is scary to me. I don’t want to see my money. I want it hidden away waiting to be transferred to all my lovely creditors, which by the way are mostly banks.

You’ll hear a lot of chat these days about Credit Unions.

Here is what I found out. Anybody can join a credit union, you don’t have to be a teacher or a union worker. They are not-for-profit, volunteer based, they do not pay taxes, they do not pay stockholders. You can get loans and have electronic banking. They usually charge no or smaller fees.

Estimates of savings by switching to a Credit Union are as high as $400 a year.

Nov. 5 is approaching. Take a look at your bank fees. Some smaller banks, like People Saving Bank in Urbano, Ohio, are giving their customers $5 a month to use their cards. What a great marketing plan. That would be an easy decision for me, if I lived in Urbano.

After after purchasing my 50-cent thrift book, “A Treasury of Great Mysteries, Volume I,” I realized two savings:

1. Buying used books for 10 cents to 50 cents at The Friends of the Library book sale, and;
2. Reading at night instead of buying sleeping aids when you can’t sleep because you’re worried about going grocery shopping.

I digress. As I was saying, the last novelette in this book is a 1940s Eric Ambler story, “Journey into Fear,” about a U.S. Navy engineer who is being pursued by Nazi agents. The engineer flirts with and enlists a show girl’s help. The show girl waves off hard times and slow tips as “Good for the figure.”

What a way to look at hard times.

I must admit a very large portion of my paycheck goes to gas and groceries. With milk beating out gas at more than $4 per gallon. Coffee and meats boldly increase their prices while decreasing their sizes.

Good luck in the fruits and vegetable aisles. If the ever-increasing chance of a deadly strain of bacteria doesn’t kill you, the prices will.

Tips for saving at the grocery store:

• Watch your proportions when you eat. The meat portion of your meal should be roughly the size of a deck of cards or your palm. Stop super-sizing your meals.
• If your recipe calls for 1 pound of hamburger, expand your palate by using 1/2 pound, mixed with rice (ex. sloppy joes), beans (ex. tacos), or bread crumbs and oatmeal (ex. hamburgers, meatballs), increase pasta in your goulash.
• Take advantage of coming holiday sales. Grocery stores compete against each other over their turkeys and hams. Be sure to buy an extra one when prices are rock bottom. Then plan several meals with the extra meat, not just one.
• Watch for good sales. Always compare price per pound. Just because the store says it’s a sale, doesn’t mean it is.
• Pick one day of the week to go meatless. Explore your Italian side, and re-think pasta.

If nothing else, we’ll come out of this recession smarter, better cooks, and with slimmer waists. So to all the tightwads out there, tighten up your belt and pocketbook and journey into the grocery store.

I have to admit, my fine arts degree really hasn’t worked for me and being an artist, Gov. Sam Brownback is not on my Christmas Card (always an original work of art) list.

But maybe he is trying to help me and all the others who got caught somewhere in between “college is your best investment” and “college is for the wealthy” eras.

The Rural Opportunity Zones program was signed into a law July 1. This law is designed to spur economic development and expand job growth in 50 counties in Kansas.

It pays up to $3,000 annually on your student loans and gives you a reprieve of five years if you move from out of state.

I was all for moving back to my hometown, hanging out at the local malt shop and cruising with my old classmates just so the state would pay $3,000 a year on my student loans until I got stuck on that phrase “job growth.”

For there to be job growth, there must be jobs to grow. I don’t think I would be happy (or qualified) to work at the local seed plant or measure out yards of material for the quilt club.

Nostalgia is one thing, job opportunity is another.

All Kansans are struggling to keep a job and pay their bills no matter what county they live in.

Mr. Brownback give your hard-working, Kansas-grown residents some tax breaks no matter where they live or we may be forced out of state where groceries aren’t taxed, where personal property taxes are unheard of and where the governor may even hang a piece of art created by a local artist in his or her office.

I got inspired this past month. It started with my youngest wanting a cell phone. While I had no quams with her having one, I dreaded changing my phone plan.

A+ customer service on this one. I was able to add a line, tweak my plan, upgrade my old phone and reduce my bill. I should of done that earlier.

Next the cable.

With internet at work and available through my new phone upgrades, I made the necessary phone call. This transition didn’t go as well, but after no television service for a few days and countless service calls. I got what I wanted. A lower bill.

My auto insurance check, through my bank, took a little longer than expected ( a free service my bank provides). I thought that my agent, whom I have had since I was 18, believed me that the check was in the mail – NOT. It’s not a good feeling to be dropped, but it gave me cause for action.

I soon found an agency that would give me a great deal on my multi-auto policy, plus better home coverage for less than I currently pay. Bonus — 12-percent extra discount on my new upgraded phone service. I like that.

So, I changed my home insurance. I had been needing to since the last bad wind storm (should have been classified a tornado) went through, and I watched all my neighbors’ roofs being replaced and our agent hadn’t gotten back to us yet.

Makes me wonder why I don’t check my bills every quarter or so and see if there is a better deal out there. Thank goodness America is still the land of the free and competition is strong.

Check your bank rates, your mortgage rates, your utilities, your grocery store. Make a phone call, or fill out a questionaire online. Most representatives bend over backward to get and keep you as a lifetime customer, they will seek financing, transition your switch with your current creditor, set up payment plans, give you incentives.

So go ahead, put that ratty old recliner out by the curb (for fellow curb-side picker uppers) and see what else is out there. You’ll soon get comfortable and feeling spiffy as well!

I got fancy and I got some deals!

First deal: I printed out a $50 coupon to be used on a new smart phone. Yes, this is on top of the T-Mobile rebate system. Get your coupon here: http://www.ottawaherald.com/story/simplywireless

Second Deal: $50 rebate. Combined with my coupon, this allowed me to get the phone I really wanted compared to the second phone on my list, which was $50 cheaper. Just remember it takes forever to get your rebate, so don’t use your grocery money.

Third Deal: I re-evaluated my plan. There was a time when Sir Spendthrift and I just couldn’t manage the same phone plan. One of us just over did it with the talking and you know it wasn’t Tightwad. Since starting our plans, way back in the dinosaur age, it wasn’t common for children to have their own communication devices. I know this isn’t anything new to most of you, but putting everyone on the same plan saves many extra charges including internet and insurance.

Fourth Deal: Do you have health insurance? Why yes, yes I do! I am now saving 15% off my bill because of a Blue Cross/Blue Shield discount. I also have heard of big group discounts at large companies. It never hurts to ask!

Fifth Deal: This one is all about the customer service and was unplanned. My phone consultant made an error on total charges, which she corrected before I even knew what she was talking about. But for my “inconvenience,” I received a discount on a phone for my daughter, whom I like to call Penny.

Sixth Deal: It’s as easy as making friends! “Like” T-Mobile’s facebook and get a coupon for 50% off any phone accessories.

Seventh Deal: Look for accessories that already are marked down to use your newly acquired coupon. Right now there is a docking station that says “Belongs to Tightwad Granny” on it. It originally was $52, but is half off in the store. Use your new coupon and receive it for only $13! Come to Granny!

As you can see I had an exceptional experience at T-Mobile. Maybe this company is a master in marketing, maybe I bought a little over my phone ability, but good customer service and telling how your customers can save is priceless. Go ahead and sign me up for another two years.

I feel so good, maybe I’ll check into my cable service next!

Caution: You need SKILLS to do this. You must know beyond a doubt characteristics of valuable items.

Try playing the “What’s It Worth?” game on the Storage Wars website.

I am a seasoned seller, and, yet, the game threw me off. It took me quite a few times to line up the items according to their values.

Local storage wars also exist. Times are published in the legal section of the newspaper. You need to call the storage facility right before the payment deadline to see if any of the units listed are still going up for auction. If the storage customer pays their bill then their items will not be put up for sale.

At Stor-It-Safe (Ottawa), they take silent bids, you write down your bid on a piece of paper. This can be tricky because you don’t know what you’re up against with other bidders. They roll open the door, you take a look (no digging). If you win, you are responsible for cleaning and sweeping out the unit.

If you’d like to spend the day and fill a truck, you may want to participate in a sort of “Storage Hop.” Mayo Auction & Realty work several storage sites. They hold their storage auctions the last Friday of the month. Moving from one location to another throughout the metro.

They are auctioneers, so you are participating in live bidding action. Be sure to check the website the night before or that morning to find starting location (if there are no units up for auction at first site, they meet at the second on the list).

As in most auctions, you must have cash and an ID.

Storage Auction Tips:

• Check to see auction is still as scheduled (if the renter pays even one minute before auction time, the auction is void)
• Bring cash and lots of it. You are not bidding on one item, but a whole unit.
• Know what an item is worth without a thorough inspection. You can’t go in to dig a lamp out to check for special markings.
• Bring some muscle. Unit must be emptied usually that day.

I am going ’round in circles with these well-rounded (geez, I’m killing myself here) bargains:

Go now to http://bigdeal.upickem.net to buy $14 worth of buffet and two drinks at Cici’s pizza in Lawrence for $5. My daughter at KU will be eating well, at least 4 times!

Also my good friend George is closing his bicycle shop. If you ever took your bike into George’s to be repaired, you know what great work he did and his reasonable costs. I always liked to take the family’s bikes in there for all the minor repairs and enjoyed seeing all the vintage bikes and new hot rods that he had on the floor.

Get your tape measure out to check tube sizes and meet me at 116 W. 3rd, Ottawa, Sunday, May 22 at 1 p.m. to bid on entire inventory of George’s Bike Shop. I am guessing that this might be such a specific item sell that we might be able to get some good bargains because there might not be the usual household and farm equipment auction seekers.

For more information on this auction, go to: http://www.ottawaherald.com/auctions/

Good luck on these Tightwad Deals, and let the music move you around.

If you are beyond the age-appropriate, baby-faced lemonade seller (no one is going to buy from a 40-something taking it easy under an oversized umbrella — unless it’s hard lemonade and that may cost you some legal fees).

The grown-up version of a lemonade stand is using what you have to make something that people want to buy. I have a fellow-blogger friend who uses her leftover yarn to make up the cutest, funkiest handbags and sells them like crazy on Etsy online. Find your niche and open up a shop selling your brand of lemonade when the well runs dry.

Tightwad Tip: Speaking of lemonade. Did you save your USA Weekender from Saturday’s paper? There is a great coupon in it for a FREE Frozen Strawberry Lemonade from McDonald’s.

I was happy to meet a fellow garage-saler this morning who was very excited to get going to all the sales. She was picking up a map and plotting her route. Her family had given her Garage Sale money and said “Go! Have fun!” And fun she was having. I thought what a great family to think to give her extra cash to go spend on useless kitchen utensils, ugly Christmas sweaters, dusty books and costume jewelry.

With 78 garage sale’s listed in The Ottawa Herald, you may have to give your mother a whole roll of quarters!

See sales here: http://www.ottawakan.com/ottawa_herald/classifieds/0165.shtml

See map here: http://www.ottawaherald.com/widegraphic/Garage-Sale-Map

The deadline for ordering is approaching for this month’s Mid America Foods.

The order deadline is Monday, April 25.

Mid America Foods offers restaurant quality food at discounted prices. Their motto is “Bring peace of mind to those who want to stretch their food dollars.” Ohohoh, I want that.

Luckily there is a center in the area that participates in this program. Volunteers at the First Baptist Church found at 4th and Walnut in Garnett, Kansas, work hard to unload trucks of this bulk packaged food.

This month’s menu is a Family Meal Box for $29

It includes:

• 2 – (1 lb pkg) flame broiled meatballs
• 1 – (1 lb) ravioli entrée
• 1 – (2 lb pkg) porkroast
• 2 – (1 lb pkg) ground beef 85/15
• 1 – (1 lb pkg) premium breakfast sausage
• 1 – (1 lb pkg) berries1 – (1 lb pkg)
• California blend or broccoli florets
• 1 – (1 lb pkg) boneless chicken breast (about. 4 – 4 oz)
• 4 – 4 oz  Tilapia or 1 – (1 lb pkg) breaded chicken tenders (fully cooked)

This program also has suppertime premium entrees, frozen fruit and veggie box, dessert box and special meat bundles.

I am going to try this mostly because I want to support the program and their ideals of ending starvation.

Buying groceries as a group purchase will force me (or more correctly—the real cook of the family, Sir Spendthrift) to be more creative with our menus. Looking at this menu, I will have to find something to do with the berries. What a great way to add a little creativity to our food prep!

Visit the website, www.midamericafood.com to sign up for next month’s groceries.  Look under the Group Sign up tab to sign up your church or organization.