This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness… Tenzin Gyatso
What does home mean? Where is home? Is it actually a physical place or a feeling or a comfort zone?
After many years of living in different houses, condos and apartments in different cities, I left my beloved North County San Diego in search of a “Forever Real Home.”
All my collection of memories and treasures from years of living went into storage and I packed a car for my journey. The car, packed tightly, was stolen the night before I left…but that is another story.
Over the last two years, I have logged many thousands of miles on my dear little Honda in search of my “forever home” and realized that almost everyone I meet is on the same search regardless of their “housing” situation.
My Honda had been the closest thing to a “home” that I have had since leaving California until recently. This little car that my grandson refers to as a piece of junk and many people would be embarrassed to be seen in with its many dents is like a well-worn comfort zone to me.
When people ask me where I live, I often say, “I be stayin” and give the physical location where I am staying. There is not a real answer to where I live; I am alive and part of life on Earth therefore wherever I am at that moment is where I am living or alive.
What memories, feeling and beliefs does the word home bring up for you? What dreams and heart desires does the word home evoke? Let’s look at how the word is commonly used and I will relate it to my own experience and perception.
I am so homesick. This is the feeling that I have when I am missing my friends and the memories of my time in California. Because it was a place that I felt safe, comfortable and accepted, I felt at home and I made a peaceful home wherever I lived there with organic gardening (often in pots), cooking and eating real organic food, and living a simple real life.
Home is where the heart is. For many years, I have thought that I want houses in a number of different places because there are so many places that I love. I love natural gardens and beauty in nature. My heart is in Bonaire watching the flamingos take flight, my heart is in the summer air of Santa Fe, my heart is watching the sun come up on Key Largo, my heart is the setting sun off of Tampa Bay, my heart is with the rising sun looking out from a farm in Fayetteville Tennessee, my heart is overlooking the water in Vancouver, my heart is high in the Rockies of Colorado, my heart is in the South of France, my heart is in a patio garden on Smoketree Lane, my heart is playing with my Grandchildren in Ottawa Kansas.
They are homeless. Notice that homeless is a term that people use in referring to other people. Homeless is a derogatory label that people use to feel pity or superior to other people. The word puts a financial value on the worth of a human life dependent on their current housing condition.
Home improvement is a big business. Can you really improve a home? Billions of dollars are spent every year on trying to turn houses into homes…or trying to turn a physical structure into a home. Bigger-Better-More-Newer. Modern technology, the latest electronic, plastic, vinyl, artificial wall & floor coverings, glue, formaldehyde, chemicals, more and bigger are better.
There are many people who have the “house improvement” addiction. They spend all their free time and money on upgrading their house and landscaping their yard trying to create a home.
There is the old-fashioned word “home-maker” that was used to refer to women who did not have jobs or careers. This use of home also became a derogatory judgment of the human value in creating a real home environment. Those were the times before modern technology and the media told us that the only value or worth of human life was to be measured in Dollars.
What is your hometown? That is a question that I never know how to answer. Does it mean where was I born or where did I grow up or where do I feel at home?
I was born and grew up in Alabama. There are family members that I love living there. I lived in some beautiful houses in Alabama. I grew up in the age of “Sweet Home Alabama” and not very far from the area the band, Alabama, sings about in the song, “My Home’s in Alabama.” Do I think of Alabama as home? No!
As a side-note…when visiting in Alabama last year I had the opportunity to spend time with some friends, Debbie Happy Cohen in Mentone and Edwene Gaines in Valley Head, who came from other areas and found “home” in Alabama. These friends travel the world and come back home to North Alabama.
Back to hometown…that is what I was looking for when I left California…a place to look forward to coming back to…the way I always looked forward to getting home to North County San Diego. Even when I lived in beautiful houses in other places like Las Vegas, I always looked forward to going home to San Diego. Hometown?
Yesterday I was invited to visit the farm of my friend, Rod, near Ottawa Kansas. I noticed that Rod kept referring to the farm where he had grown up as “My Mom and Dad’s place” even though they are no longer alive. There are many wonderful real treasures at the farm and Rod is making changes and trying to pull in the things that he loves. When Rod talks about his life in Dallas, his whole demeanor changes and his eyes light up.
They have the home field advantage. I understand the meaning of this in the sports field. It is always easier to play where you know the turf and have people who are going to support you, love you and accept you. Is the home field advantage what we are trying to find in a house or a physical location?
I have recently moved into a very old small cottage. I moved in with a futon bed, large old oak chest, small round table and one chair along with the stuff that I brought from California in my car. Real things keep appearing as I clean, paint and love this place. This is simply a real home…no plastic, no artificial, no toxins, real food…my grandchildren eat and drink from real glass.
So I pose the question again; what does home mean? Where is home? Is it actually a physical place or a feeling or a comfort zone?
A home is where we live real life. Are we wasting our lives confusing artificial physical housing with a real home? A home is where we feel real love, beauty, peace, acceptance and comfort. Look around you and see what is real and what is false, phony and artificial for outside appearance only.
There was a “law” we lived by when I was in the corporate world, Appearance and presentation is 99% of the sale. Have we all been sold a worthless bill of goods confusing an artificial house with a real home?
Everyone on Earth wants a real home. Earth is the real home to all life here and everyone is interdependent on everyone else for the survival of our home.
There is no place like home. Blessings to you in creating a real home.
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