Before everyone gets all self-righteous, offended, defensive and all the other emotions we attach to the word SEX…Let’s get Real.
Sex is a powerful force in everyone’s life…affecting their finances, health and relationships. It is a subject that people are more willing to talk about than money…if you question this go out on FACEBOOK and look at what some of your friends are posting.
Twelve years ago, I was at a conference at the San Diego Convention Center when the lunch keynote speaker Suze Orman’s book “The Courage to Be Rich” was on the best seller list. Suze is a funny lady and she spent five minutes talking about a visit to her gynecologist office and giving intimate details of her anatomy. She had us all laughing until she said, “Now turn to the person next to you on your left and tell them how much you own in personal debt.” In a room of six thousand mostly women, there was almost complete silence. Her point, we are more willing to talk about sex than money.
What do we tell our children about sex? Mostly nothing…after all they are children.
What do our children know about sex? If they go to public school…probably as much or more than we do.
A few weeks ago, one of my grandsons was involved in a name-calling incident with his friends in the school cafeteria. When the school official told his parents the slang term that was being used they asked what it meant. Rather than giving a definition they were told to Google the term. Children know what their role models and peer group know about sex.
Let’s get real!
The average age of puberty in girls is now nine, in a phenomenon increasingly being blamed on rising obesity and exposure to hormone-disrupting pollutants in the food supply. The average age when boy’s voices began to deepen and they show physical signs of puberty is now 12.
This earlier age of maturation is even more striking when compared with the 19th century, when girls reached puberty at an average age of 15, and boys reached it at 17. Since then, the age of puberty has moved back steadily.
Early puberty can be hard on children who are mature physically but still young emotionally. Children are also at a much higher risk of being sexually abused, because it is hard for some adults to understand and behave appropriately towards them.
A new study finds America’s teenagers are as sexually active as their contemporaries in other developed countries, but at the same time, they are more likely to become teenage parents.
This country has the highest rates of teen pregnancy, birth, and abortion in the industrialized world. In fact, the U.S. teen pregnancy and birth rates are nearly double Canada’s, at least four times those of France and Germany, and more than eight times that of Japan.
Researchers from the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization, studied sexual and reproductive patterns in teenagers from Great Britain, Canada, France, Sweden and the United States. They found that although the rate of sexual activity among U.S. teens is similar to other developing countries, they don’t use contraceptives as often as teens in other Western countries. The researchers suggest that limited access to healthcare and contraceptives, along with less social acceptance of teenage sexuality within the U.S., may be contributing reasons.
The study also found that American teens are more likely to be told to avoid sex, while other countries are more realistic about the fact that some teenagers will engage in sexual activity.
Promoting abstinence does not work after an adolescent has become sexually active. That is why it is very important for young people to learn about and have access to male and female condoms so they can prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
This study is very important because it covers more than just health education and abstinence to promote teen pregnancy and STD reduction among sexually active teens. It discusses economic factors, including access to reproductive services. It also looks at adult perception of teen sexuality, including acceptance of sexual activity among teens, and incentives, such as education and employment assistance, to delay childbearing.
Here it is…The Real Sex Talk
The act of sex is the system by which the Earth is populated…whether by plants, animals or humans. Sex is the passing on of life. In humans this is completed naturally by way of the penis and vagina.
When the male ejaculates, there is the release of over 5 million sperms. The X sperm (which are the sperm that make females) live longer than the Y sperm(which are the sperm that make males). However, the Y sperm are lighter and swim faster. Gender is determine by the male. At the time of ejaculation there are over 5 million different life potentials swimming for the goal.
In the human female, egg cell production begins before birth, when about 2 million primitive cells known as oogonia accumulate in the ovaries. After the age of puberty, the oogonia develop into primary oocytes and then into egg cells at a rate of one per month.
Conception occurs when the winner of the sperm swimming marathon (will it be the lighter faster male or the female with the most endurance) collides with the monthly lottery winning egg. Whichever…every new human life begins as a winner with the odds being over 7 million to one.
If everyone on Earth knew they were this kind of winner from their beginning would there be a change in attitude with a shift in the balance of power in health, finance and relationships?
Sex has no relationship to love.
While looking for love, often a lack of self-esteem makes kids experiment with sex. As a result they may have trouble establishing meaningful relationships though out their life because they’ve connected sex and love.
In a society where 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce with the vast majority of children not living in a home with both biological parents why do we associate sex with love?
When our children can see the sex act depicted and called love on television, more than half of all TV shows include sexual content, with the average prime-time program featuring five or more sexual references per hour, or hear about it from their friends, why do we expect them as children to behave differently than their role models and peers?
When our sex-saturated culture pushes kids to grow up too fast with children’s stores and catalogs selling junior versions of sexy apparel including silky bras and panties for 5-year-olds and skintight Lycra tops and body revealing shorts that make prepubescent girls look provocative, why do we expect our children not to follow their role models and compete with their friends for love?
In a recent survey by Seventeen magazine, 55 percent of teens, aged thirteen to nineteen, admitted to engaging in oral sex. Half of them felt it wasn’t as big a deal as intercourse. Oral sex is like the latest sport, an activity kids egg each other on to try. Parents may say, “That’s not my child,” but nearly half of them are wrong.
One in twelve children is no longer a virgin by his or her thirteenth birthday, and 21 percent of ninth-graders have engaged in a sexual act with four or more partners. Some have lost their virginity, but most have oral sex. It’s popular because you can’t get pregnant. Girls tend to give oral sex more than they receive it. The consequences can be life altering. Girls may become vulnerable to exploitative relationships, especially when they’re involved with older boys. They expect emotional intimacy but don’t necessarily get it. That can lead to emotional distress, as well as substance abuse.
Our Youth are now also embarking on a vampire biting trend sparked by the success of the Twilight movies. Many preteens and teens are reportedly biting their partners to draw blood before sucking it. This craze of cutting into the skin to show passion and affection carries with it a risk of contracting hepatitis and HIV.
Let’s get real and talk about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD)
Although the U.S. has among the highest rates of STDs and teen pregnancy of any modern country, 7 percent of schools offer no sex education at all and 35 percent limit teachers from discussing contraception and safe sex. “Abstinence until marriage” courses have become common since the government launched a $250 million program in 1996 to pay for them. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study shows that only 17 percent of teachers inform junior-high students about the proper use of condoms.
Most kids think oral sex is safe because they aren’t told that it can lead to sexually transmitted diseases [STDs],” such as gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, HIV, human papilloma virus and hepatitis C.
STDs affect men and women of every socioeconomic and educational level, age, race, ethnicity, and religion. Bacterial STDs (like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis) can be treated with antibiotics. There is no cure for viral STDs such as genital herpes and HIV. For this reason, perhaps we should be talking about and teaching consistent and correct use of latex condoms for every act of sex outside of committed long-term monogamous relationships.
Sex and Drugs
Any drug or chemical that effects the natural balance of the hormonal system in the human body has the potential to produce genetic mutation. Libido is clearly linked to levels of sex hormones, therefore we are increasing the likelihood of our children engaging in sexual activity with their increased intake of prescription drug and chemicals based foods.
Sex is a number one best seller for the Medical and Pharmaceutical drug pushers with new drugs hitting the market every day to correct or prevent many of the issues created by their other products. Every sexual issue is covered by a drug from hormone-related acne to erectile dysfunction to birth control to STD’s yet the sexual issues are growing everyday.
A report published in the journal Health Affairs says the U.S. has dropped to 49th place in overall life expectancy down from 24th in 1999, among the nations of the world. The causes of America’s poor health include things like its broken food system, overuse of chemical pesticides, and dependence on pharmaceutical drugs — all of which are poisoning the population and the environment, and lowering lifespans.
Regardless of what we have done in the past, we live in the now and now is the time to get real start talking to our kids about sex. Don’t they deserve to know the truth and even if they pretend not to listen…we are still the role models.
We can never have an intimate relationship with anyone else until we have that loving relationship with ourselves. The only way to have that relationship is to get real and live in the present.
SO…When are we going to get real and start talking about Health, Finances and Relationships?
Love, Light & Lots of Laughter…Joa
